It's delightful, it's delicious, it's dlevy!
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Frances Faye was Danny Kaye’s second cousin - I love how their names have the same delivery to them. She was a Jewish nightclub performer and actress who while not open about her bisexuality, at least hinted at it. And her material onstage did the same - bawdy if you knew what she was alluding to, as this song certainly demonstrates. She seems like a pretty interesting person with a great story - her partner for life after two marriages was also her manager, and she recorded several albums, and appeared in a few movies. This is a cool album capturing her night club act I have no idea when. I imagine the 1960s, but who knows?
“This is not dirty, it’s the way I say it.”
Toward the end of her introduction, she offers something of an apology for her handling of the book’s subject matter entirely from a heterosexual point of view. She suggests that it was not a matter of heterosexism (although she doesn’t use that term) as much as it was an acknowledgement that lesbian and bisexual women’s experience of their vaginas (in general) and sex (in particular) merit their own handling rather than being lumped together under one rubric.
For those of us of a certain age, Sally Ride was *the* feminist icon, the first and brightest star introduced to elementary school children in the curriculum of girls can do anything… *even science*!
So I was sad to learn she died today.
And then when people on Twitter started to talk about Sally being gay, I got angry.
How did I made it to 34 years old and not know this? I was furious at the presumed erasure of her identity that happened during my education.
It turns out that when I was in elementary school, Sally Ride was still married to a man. She later divorced him and spent the following 27 years with a female partner.
In life, Sally was intensely private, both before and after coming out. She really only used her celebrity to advance the cause of girls in science.
That makes me sad and furious too. NOT SAD WITH HER. NOT FURIOUS AT HER. But sad and furious at the conditions of the world we live in where she felt a need for the kind of intense privacy that prevented us from learning basic biographical data about her that could have made a huge difference in the lives of many, many queer kids.
A year and a half ago I caused a minor shitstorm for expressing the same sense of anger and regret at the passing of another lesbian icon who, like Ride, was intensely private, and while not exactly closeted in her day to day life, carefully kept mention of her lesbian identity out of the popular narrative about her life. People thought I was criticizing her or calling her a closet case. And the fact that we can’t separate a critique of the societal forces that create an atmosphere where this discussion is even happening from a critique of the victims (yes, victims) of that society also infuriate and sadden me.
But now that she has posthumously come out, I hope (as I did with the previous icon) that this can become part of her story, and we can adopt her not only as a pioneering woman but also as a pioneering queer person, and as my people say, may her memory be for a blessing.
As I mentioned earlier this week, I was invited to give the sermon this Shabbat at Temple Beth Zion in Brookline, MA for their Pride Shabbat. If you’d like to read what I had to say, it’s behind the cut.
…and it’s not too late to contribute!
If you’re outraged over the North Carolina vote, you can take action. Instead of writing off the people of this state who need support more than ever, help keep the institutions of the LGBTQ community strong when they’re needed more than ever. Your gift to the lgbt Center of Raleigh at any level will send a message that the LGBTQ residents of NC have the rest of us behind them.
Join Keshet’s Equality Guide
Keshet is assembling a directory to provide a way for LGBTQ Jews and their loved ones to find welcoming institutions and spiritual leaders. The survey is very short and consists of a series of yes/no questions. If you are a member of the clergy or the leader of a Jewish organization, please complete the survey to add yourself to the directory.
The City of Raleigh has declared this All Families Matter week. (I’m guest tweeting from @lgbtcenterral today - follow me there for more pictured and awesomeness.)
Amendment One proposes to change the state constitution in such a way that not only would ban same-sex marriage, it would prohibit the law from offering any accommodations to any couples of any configuration, which could have such far-reaching effects as, for example, nullifying any domestic violence protections for unmarried women.
In other words, even people who oppose same-sex marriage should vote against Amendment One.
However, the campaign to get this message across to the state seems to be falling short, and as we approach the final week before the vote, that’s really fucking scary.
So click through this link and vote in this meaningless television station poll. And then make sure you tell everyone you know who votes in North Carolina, and everyone you know who knows someone who votes in North Carolina, why they should VOTE AGAINST AMENDMENT ONE.
Gay groups excluded from St. Patrick’s Day parade in South Boston
- Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people will not be marching in the annual South Boston St. Patrick’s Day parade on Sunday after two groups received rejection letters from organizers.
Every year I forget about this and then the Globe reports on it and I’m all like “don’t the parade organizers know it’s 2012?”
BTW, Ireland has same-gender civil partnerships and Northern Ireland (and Boston) has gay marriage. What exactly do the parade organizers think they are achieving?
Whatevs
